Sometimes I might be mid way through making something, and find there’s a flaw in the wood that means I can’t do what I had originally planned. Often I can salvage it though; that’s the beauty of not working to a plan!
More often, I just get carried away. And then I look at the end product and realise that no-one would want to use it! I remember getting totally absorbed in adding ribs to a butt plug; when I looked at the finished product it made me wince. It would have been like sticking a pine cone up there. I mean, there are people out there into that, and I’m not gonna kink-shame, but… It made me cross my legs!
I did it again working on a slim piece of hazel recently. “Ooh,” I thought. “That would make a nice set of beads,”. Well, wooden beads are tricky. You don’t want “free” beads on a string – they’re hard to clean effectively. The string and drilled holes are breeding grounds for bacteria. This is where silicone comes into its own; although it’s crap for the environment, it’s good for certain kinds of toys, and there’s no denying that. It’s flexible and easy to clean.
So, I made the branch into rigid beads – a sort of beaded wand. Starting small, graduating up.
Looks okay, doesn’t it?
Yeah. Then imagine what could happen if someone was a bit too enthusiastic with it! Ironically bigger, blunter toys are way less likely to cause injury that something slim and pointy like this. It’s such a bad idea to use it with vigour somewhere delicate. Time for a rethink… I don’t want to scrap the idea totally, so perhaps it’ll get reworked somehow, but alas I suspect this one is a write-off. Lesson learned – and at least it’s at my expense, not someone else’s.
What do you think I could do with it (and don’t say “stick it up your …”, that’s what it’s intended for!)?
Welcome! Well, as I write, the world’s a peculiar place. Coronavirus is everywhere and the UK is in lockdown. Small businesses everywhere are facing ruin, and many workers have been laid off, furloughed, or just have no shifts to work on their zero-hours contracts.
It’s not sexy though, is it. Unless you have the figure of a model (and I mean guys as well as girls), it’s mostly unflattering, uncomfy and kinda naff.
Oops Moments
Every now and again, Stuff Goes Wrong.
Sometimes I might be mid way through making something, and find there’s a flaw in the wood that means I can’t do what I had originally planned. Often I can salvage it though; that’s the beauty of not working to a plan!
More often, I just get carried away. And then I look at the end product and realise that no-one would want to use it! I remember getting totally absorbed in adding ribs to a butt plug; when I looked at the finished product it made me wince. It would have been like sticking a pine cone up there. I mean, there are people out there into that, and I’m not gonna kink-shame, but… It made me cross my legs!
I did it again working on a slim piece of hazel recently. “Ooh,” I thought. “That would make a nice set of beads,”. Well, wooden beads are tricky. You don’t want “free” beads on a string – they’re hard to clean effectively. The string and drilled holes are breeding grounds for bacteria. This is where silicone comes into its own; although it’s crap for the environment, it’s good for certain kinds of toys, and there’s no denying that. It’s flexible and easy to clean.
So, I made the branch into rigid beads – a sort of beaded wand. Starting small, graduating up.
Looks okay, doesn’t it?
Yeah. Then imagine what could happen if someone was a bit too enthusiastic with it! Ironically bigger, blunter toys are way less likely to cause injury that something slim and pointy like this. It’s such a bad idea to use it with vigour somewhere delicate. Time for a rethink… I don’t want to scrap the idea totally, so perhaps it’ll get reworked somehow, but alas I suspect this one is a write-off. Lesson learned – and at least it’s at my expense, not someone else’s.
What do you think I could do with it (and don’t say “stick it up your …”, that’s what it’s intended for!)?
Related Posts
Splinters?!
“Wooden sex toys? Won’t they give me splinters?!” Aw hell no, d’you think I’m some kind of evil genius?
Website Launch
Welcome! Well, as I write, the world’s a peculiar place. Coronavirus is everywhere and the UK is in lockdown. Small businesses everywhere are facing ruin, and many workers have been laid off, furloughed, or just have no shifts to work on their zero-hours contracts.
Seriously, mind where you’re sticking that.
Messenger bag raw denim ethical bespoke. Irony hashtag mixtape kogi blog, fashion axe readymade scenester flexitarian.
Why is sexy underwear so unsexy?
It’s not sexy though, is it. Unless you have the figure of a model (and I mean guys as well as girls), it’s mostly unflattering, uncomfy and kinda naff.